There's not much new to report today. We went to our class yesterday and for 8 hours listened while the agency told us about openness, went more in depth about what's to come, and other information that we already knew. We feel like we fulfilled a requirement and are ready to move on. Tom and I were a little disappointed in the class yesterday. We thought it might be a little more detailed information and maybe new information. That wasn't the case.
To clear up a question that we had though about when the adoption is "legal". It seems that the birth father has 30 days to claim his child. If he'd want any parental rights he has 30 days to do that. If on day 31 he finds out about the baby and then wants to stop the adoption, it is too late. His rights are no longer honored. This is an Indiana law. Once the birth mom has the baby she has 48 hours after the baby is born to change her mind. Once she signs the papers, before the baby leaves the hospital, she can not change her mind. The adoption is "final" so to speak. What happens is we would be given physical custody of the baby, but the agency has legal custody of the baby, since they are the ones who are working with us to make the adoption legal. After about, 3 months-I think, we go to court to finalize the adoption legally.
Unfortunately, there's really nothing new to report to you. The paperwork that was completed has been turned in. We still have a few papers out there, background checks, etc. The home visit is March 25. We will not become active until all the paperwork is returned to the agency. That includes: physical results, financial, background checks, etc. They hope to get the home study document completed 4-6 weeks after all of the paperwork is returned (actually it's after the home visit, but in our case that's not going to happen). Tom and I are thinking maybe the first part of May we might be active.
The agency also suggested that we not have any celebrations until after the baby is born and the birth mom has signed off on the adoption. They said they've had cases where the adoptive family has come right to the signing and the birth mom has changed her mind. In this case then, the adoptive family has a room in their house filled with baby items and it's a very painful reminder of what didn't happen. Tom and I agreed that it would be very difficult for that to happen to us, so we aren't going to begin getting a nursery together until after we have a baby. I'm sure it will be difficult not to be able to have that preparation, but it would be a lot more difficult to have an empty nursery-not knowing when it would be filled.
We will keep you updated as much as possible. Sorry it's been so long since our last post. Keep your positive thoughts and prayers coming. We appreciate it all so much!
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2 comments:
If everything works out and you need help getting the nursery ready during summer months, I am willing to help as much as possible.
Best wishes,
Lynnette
I totally agree that it's hard to have an empty nursery sitting there.
I do want to suggest though, that if you find special little things you want for your baby (keepsakes, books, clothes, nursery decor items) go ahead and buy them. It will make this process a little more real. Just tuck the items away to be pulled out on a gloomy day, or better yet, on the day you bring your child home!!! It's these little items and trinkets that make you feel like a mommy-to-be!
When you do, bring them home, we'll certainly help you celebrate!!!!
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